Vast WRight Wing Conspiracy

This story is older than my wild turkey story, but I've been meaning to tell it for awhile. It goes all the way back to Opening Day. On Opening Day, as any other day, I took the dog for his walk so he could piss on every tree between Lake Street and the Ford Bridge. We walked past many sidewalks decorated with sidewalk chalk. Those crazy kids. But one sidewalk artist's work caught my eye. What was notable about this house is the yard had the a "NO WAR IN IRAQ" sign in its yard. This was in stark contrast to the big "W"s that the kids who lived there had drawn all over their sidewalk. At first I was a bit perplexed.

But these were cursive W's. Not the bold, print W the GOP uses to market its George Bush product. More like the cursive W found on the Washington Nationals hat. It turns out those kids were crazed baseball fans, not Bush fans!

But this got me to thinking. Why did the Nationals choose to put a W on their hat instead of an N? Sure it's hard to make an N look as cool as a W, and at best it was a 50/50 chance the owners would choose an N over W.

But I say it runs deeper than that. I say the owners, who are surely fat cat GOPs, chose their hat design wisely. Now they've tricked a bunch of Beltway Democrats into proudly walking around DC in RED hats decorated with a big W.

Bill Clinton had it right all along about the vast right wing conspiracy. So I say all the progressive Nats fans trade in their newly minted W hats for a BLUE Durham bulls hat with the big D on front for Democrat. Actually fuck that. Fuck the Democrats. They aren't the solution to our nation's ills. They're about 25% of the problem. Instead, dye your Nats hats green and tell get the word out: the W stands for WELLSTONE!



Image from http://www.yellowstonemagic.com


To quote Fred Willard from This Is Spinal Tap, "I'm joking of course."